THE EPIC MYSTERY BOX - STAR CADET

THE EPIC MYSTERY BOX


Let me tell you a story. ‘T was a crisp Monday morning. I was speed walking along the lakeside practicing my freeform karate in hopes of achieving what my father and his father before him never could. This was the day I entered the Temple of Suffering, defeated Sir Grendaal The Greedy, and took back the ever so elusive Mystery Boxes from his cold, yet very well manicured dead hands. For eons, my family’s precious heirlooms had been stuck behind these stone walls: T-shirts, Hoodies, Baseball Tees, Hats, Beanies, Patches, Pins, Posters, and more. I made my way over the Rusted Iron Gates of Torment, passed the Fields of Eternal Damnation, and through the Temple Giftshop until I finally reached Grendaal’s Sacred Halls. Wasting no time at all, I bicycle kicked the door in, revealing a small chubby goblin sitting atop a stool. “If you’re looking for Grendaal, he took a lunch break. The mystery box is over--AAAH!”. With the power of twenty thousand Alaskan Trout, I pulverized the goblin into oblivion. I swiftly grabbed the Mystery Box, and escaped through the Temple window. Today,  I achieved greatness! All of my hard work and training had finally paid off. And to commemorate my achievement, and I want to share these heirlooms with each of you. Each box contains $100 worth of goods for a price of $64.99, and I must say, it was well worth the epic tale.

                     
The assortment of products per box will vary. 
All Sales are final. 

 

Please allow 10-21 business days for your package to be sent.



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